Why Couples Fall Out of Love

I am not aware of any one single reason why couples fall out of love. I have seen a number of typical scenarios in marital therapy over the years that are worth commenting on however that appear to contribute to the loss of romantic love. Here are some of the repetitive themes that have unraveled in therapy:

High Career Stress for Either or Both of the Couple

This scenario usually has a hard-working (60-90 hours per week) spouse who is either running a business or is a high demand executive or professional position in a corporation. The other spouse is typically in a stay at home position, managing everything including children, household management and everything else that falls through the cracks. Slowly over time marital and family time becomes compromised with the corresponding adaptation to the spouse who is always either working late or exhausted by the time they finally reach home. The family settles into a lifestyle that corresponds with high economic commitments such as a huge mortgage, private schools, costly athletic pursuits etc. Once the ball gets rolling it is hard to stop as everyone just gets used to the lifestyle. Very often the spouse who is working outside the home becomes almost marginalized, some by their own doing and some the result of a system that everyone has become accustom to. Less time is spent with family, less time on couple activities that at one point were a source of gratification and bonding to both spouses. In this scenario the couple often become very good at managing everything else in their life but slowly start to lose their emotional connection to one another. Either conflict arises that does not get resolved because nobody has time

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